Chapter 10: Conflict Management in Groups

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0><script type="text/javascript" src="http://hb.lycos.com/hb.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://ratings.lycos.com/ratings/lycosRating.js.php"></script> <script type="text/javascript"><![CDATA[//><!]]></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://scripts.lycos.com/catman/init.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-start.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-middle.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-end.js"></script> <noscript> <img src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/img/common/ot_noscript.gif?rand=264679" alt="" width="1" height="1" />  <iframe frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" width="728" height="90" src="http://ad.yieldmanager.com/st?ad_type=iframe&ad_size=728x90&section=209094"></iframe>  </noscript> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=100 BGCOLOR="#CCCCFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="31800640egdysm.jpg"> <div> <FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Tahoma" ><B>The Message</b></FONT><FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#000099" FACE="Tahoma" ><B> </b></FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#000099" FACE="Tahoma" ><B> </b></FONT><B>|   </b><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Message"><U><B>The Message Home Page</b></U></A><B> </b><B> |  </b><A HREF="small_group_communication_by_lynn_meade.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Small Group Home Page"><U><B>Small Group Home Page</b></U></A><B>  </b><B> |  </b><A HREF="id23.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact Me"><U><B>Contact Me</b></U></A></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> A Communication Website by Lynn Meade</div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=150 BGCOLOR="#0000BF" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <A HREF="http://www.careerbuilder.com/wl_ga_0012_conflictmanagement.html" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.careerbuilder.com/wl_ga_0012_"><U><B>What's your conflict management style:  Take the test</b></U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=380 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Chapter Ten: Conflict Management in Groups</b></div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="32302c10.gif" border=0 width="258" height="193" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></b></div> <div> Summary of conflict solution discussed in this book</div> <div> <TABLE BORDER="2" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="394" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 23 WIDTH="180"><div> Sources</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="195"><div> Solutions</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 38 WIDTH="180"><div> Competitive group climate</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="195"><div> Structure cooperating group climate</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 38 WIDTH="180"><div> Defensive communication patterns</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="195"><div> Structure supportive communications</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 38 WIDTH="180"><div> Self-centered disruptive roles</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="195"><div> Adopt strategies for dealing with difficult members</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 38 ><NOBR><div> Imbalance of power</div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="195"><div> Balance power among group members</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 38 ><NOBR><div> Conflicts of interest</div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="195"><div> Use integrative problem solving</div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> Conflict-</b> is the expressed struggle of interconnected parties who perceive incompatible goals and interference form each other in attaining those goals. </div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Destructive versus constructive conflict</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Destructive conflict</b> is characterized by domination, escalation, retaliation, competitions, and inflexibility.   When conflict spirals out of control it is destructive. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Participants lose sight of their initial goals and focus on hurting the adversary. </div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Constructive conflict</b> is characterized by a We-orientation, cooperation, and flexibility. The principal focus is on trying to achieve a solution between struggling parties that  is mutually satisfactory to everyone. </div> <bR> <div> <B>Conflict resolution versus management</b></div> <div> <B>Resolution </b>suggests settling conflict or terminating the struggle, as if ending the conflict by any means is desirable.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Management</b> implies no end to the struggle.  Management of conflict implies no judgment on the goodness or badness of struggles in general. </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Styles of Conflict Management</b></div> <div> <TABLE BORDER="2" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="588" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 44 WIDTH="139"><div> <B>Style</b></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="238"><div> <B>Characteristics</b></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="185"><div> <B>Task-Social Dimension</b></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 208 WIDTH="139"><div> <B>Collaborating </b>(problem solving)</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="238"><div> Win-win. Cooperative approach to conflict.  </div> <div> Attempts to satisfy all parties</div> <div> <B>Three components:</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Confrontation:</b>  Bring the conflict out into the open</div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Integration:</b> -looking at many options until both parties are satisfied. </div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Smoothing-</b>smooth out ruffled feathers. </div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> High task, high social</div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 76 WIDTH="139"><div> <B>Accommodating </b>(yielding)</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="238"><div> This style may camouflage deep division among group members in order to maintain the appearance of harmony. </div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> Low task, high social</div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 133 ><NOBR><div> <B>Compromising</b></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="238"><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Lower our expectations and goals.  We give up in order to get something.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Lose-lose style because neither party is ever fully satisfied. </div> <bR> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="185"><div> Moderate task, moderate social</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 95 WIDTH="139"><div> <B>Avoiding </b>(withdrawing)</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="238"><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Flights from fights. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">By avoiding they hope the conflict will disappear. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">May, in some cases be good in abuse situations</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> Low task, low social</div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 95 WIDTH="139"><div> <B>Competing</b> (Power/ Forcing)</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="238"><div> Forcing your will on others is a win-lose style</div> <div> Groups tend to ascribe blame when groups don't function properly. </div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> High task, low social</div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Studies show that collaborating and accommodating were more successful methods for managing conflict than were competing and avoiding. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Phillips and Cheston compared collaborative problem solving and power forcing styles in 52 conflict cases.  Forcing was used twice as often as problem solving, yet in about half the situations where forcing was used the outcomes were good. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Only 5% of top managers, first line supervisors, and middle managers admitted to actually using the collaborative style in specific conflict situations. 41% selected competing and 26% chose avoiding. </div> <div> <IMG SRC="09822240.gif" border=0 width="546" height="36" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <B>Focus on Culture: Culture and Conflict Styles</b></div> <div> <TABLE BORDER="2" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="454" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 20 WIDTH="214"><div> <B>Low context style</b></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="221"><div> <B>High context style</b></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 38 ><NOBR><div> message-content orientation</div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> message-context orientation</div> <bR> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 76 WIDTH="214"><div> The listener knows very little and must be told practically everything</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="221"><div> The listener is already contexted and does not need to be given much background information</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 57 WIDTH="214"><div> Verbally precise, direct, literal, explicit. </div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="221"><div> Indirect verbal expressions. You are expected to read between the lines. </div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 57 WIDTH="214"><div> Favor direct competition or compromising styles of conflict management</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="221"><div> Avoiding or accommodating styles of conflict management. </div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 19 WIDTH="214"><div> US, England</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="221"><div> China,</div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> People need to change their perspectives,</div> <div> not their problems</div> <div> -John Maxwell</div> <div> <IMG SRC="09822240.gif" border=0 width="546" height="36" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> Transacting Conflict</div> <bR> <div> <B>Nature of conflict</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Is it a content or relationship issue?</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">How deeply held are the beliefs and values?</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Most difficult disputes to manage are value conflicts. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">When the conflict is a power struggle, the choice of styles will depend on the relative power relationships between the parties involved. </div> <bR> <div> <B>Nature of the relationship</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Managers typically handle conflict with superiors and peers differently.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Power-forcing is the most common style managers use in handling different items with subordinates. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Managers are primarily accommodating with superiors and compromising with peers. </div> <bR> <div> <B>Timing</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Hit and run</b> confrontations look like guerilla tactics, not attempts to communicate competently and work out disputes. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Confrontation can be highly effective but not when the other person is not given time to respond such as in hit and run. </div> <bR> <div> <B>Conflict spirals</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Minor conflicts can easily escalate into major destructive conflict spiraling out of control when groups are faced with failure, poor working conditions, intense competitions, stress, or a defensive climate. </div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Negative reciprocation-</b> those who do harm to us or threaten our well-being are though to deserve harm or threats in return. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">To avoid this spirals, you must not match the abusive, insulting, or threatening behavior of other group members. </div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="09822240.gif" border=0 width="546" height="36" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> The Ten Commandments of Confrontation</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Do it privately; not publicly</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Do it as soon as possible. That is more natural than waiting a long time.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Speak to one issue at a time. Don't overload the person with  a long list of issues.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Once you've made a point, don't keep repeating it.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Deal only with actions the person can change. If you ask the person to do something he or she is unable to do, frustration builds in your relationship.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Avoid sarcasm. Sarcasm signals that you are angry at people, not their actions, and may cause them to resent you.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Avoid word like always and never. They usually detract from accuracy and make people defensive.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Present criticisms as suggestions or questions if possible. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Don't apologize for the confrontational meeting.  Doing so detracts from it and may indicate you are not sure you had the right to do what you did.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Don't forget the compliments.  Use what I call the "sandwich" in these types of meetings.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Compliment--Confront--Compliment</div> <bR> <div> by John Maxwell from Developing the Leader Within You</div> <div> <IMG SRC="09822240.gif" border=0 width="546" height="36" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> Closer Look: KILL Radio Conflict Case Study</div> <div> (Live radio that'll knock you dead)</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="09822240.gif" border=0 width="546" height="36" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> Negotiating strategies</div> <div> <B>Negotiation</b> is a process by which a joint decision is made by two or more parties. </div> <bR> <div> <B>Tit for tat-</b> </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Eye for an eye a smooch for a smooch. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">You begin by cooperating, but if they compete you compete.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Since negative reciprocation is more likely than positive reciprocation, a spiral of competitive tit for tat is the usual pattern among group members. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">It is an incompetent strategy when you look at its negative sequences of potential moves and countermoves. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">There is the likelihood of an endless "malignant spiral" (spiral of great harm) of escalating competitive behavior. </div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Reformed sinner</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Initially competed or acts tough, then cooperates and relaxes demands. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">You try to break the conflict spiral by making the first move toward cooperation. </div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><U>One version is the </U></b><I><B><U>GRIT</U></b></I><B><U> proposal</U></b></div> <div> <B>G</b>raduated and <B>R</b>eciprocated<B> I</b>nitiatives in <B>T</b>ension<B> </b>Reduction</div> <div> Originally offered a a means to de-escalate the international arms race</div> <bR> <div> 1. Issue a sincere<U> public statement</U> expressing a desire to de-escalate the conflict</div> <div> 2.  <U>Specify the concession</U> to be made, clarifying what, when, and how the action will be undertaken.</div> <div> 3.  Follow through and <U>complete the concession</U>, but do not make this contingent on reciprocation by the other parties</div> <div> 4. <U> Encourage, but do not demand, reciprocation</U> from the other parties</div> <div> 5.<U>  Make no high-risk concessions</U> that leave you vulnerable or in an indefensible position. Don't give away the store. </div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="32afa690.jpg" border=0 width="250" height="361" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Positional bargaining</b></div> <div> Parties take positions on contested issues, then haggle back and forth until concessions are made and an agreement is reached</div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Hard bargainers</b> -tough bargainers see a negotiation as a contest of wills. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Hard bargaining is it the negotiations strategy from strength approach. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">The focus is on conveying strength and resilience so the other parties will yield. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">The key is to appear tough but fair. </div> <bR> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">To <B>Soft bargainers</b> making an agreement and remaining friends is more important than winning a victory. </div> <bR> <div> <B>Principled negotiation</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Interested bargaining: Principled negotiation embodies the essential elements of competent communication.  </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">All negotiations are conducted according to rules.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Principled negotiation changes the rules Separate the  from competitive, hard bargaining, to cooperative.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">The four basic elements to this approach are</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">People: Separate the people from the problem</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Interests: Focus on interests, not positions</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Options: Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Criteria: Insist that the result be bases on some objective standard. </div> <bR> <div> <B>Develop a BATNA</b></div> <div> <B>B</b>est <B>A</b>lternative <B>t</b>o a <B>N</b>egotiated <B>A</b>greement. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Make choices and take only those actions that benefit both you and other parties in the dispute regardless of whether the other parties reciprocate. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">You need to develop a BATNA as a standard against which any proposal can be measures. </div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> The size of the person is more important than the size of the problem-</div> <div> John Maxwell</div> <div> <IMG SRC="09822240.gif" border=0 width="546" height="36" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Anger Management</U></b></div> <div> <B>Managing your own anger</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Reframe self-talk-</b>Reframing the way we think about things can deflate our anger before it escalates</div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Listen non-defensively-</b> refuse to be defensive</div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Deliberately calm yourself.</b>  Typically it takes about 20 minutes to recover from a surge of adrenaline that accompanies anger.  A cooling-off period may be necessary.</div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Find distractions</b>- don't rehearse you anger. </div> <bR> <div> <B>Managing the anger of others</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Be asymmetrical-</b> Do not strike back at someone's anger with your anger. Counter rage with calm</div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Validate the other person-</b> Let the other person know that their point of view has some validity</div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Probe-</b> Seek information so you can understand the other person's anger.</div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Assume a problem orientation-</b> Approach the anger display a a problem to be solved. </div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Refuse to be abused</b>-Do not permit yourself to be verbally battered. </div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Disengage</b>-Adjourn to another time. </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Misery is an Option- John Maxwell</div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="311755d0.gif" border=0 width="117" height="93" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">\</b></div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>